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Baz posted:
Saint posted:

I wonder then if his marriage was a bit of a facade? 

I know this is a complex issue of social pressures and denial but his poor wife must feel cheated?

 

Brave none the less

Yes , to all that ....but I wonder why he felt the need to *come out* right now 

Recent negative press perhaps or is that cynical?

He said he needed to be honest but it's taken a while

Saint
Saint posted:
Baz posted:
Saint posted:

I wonder then if his marriage was a bit of a facade? 

I know this is a complex issue of social pressures and denial but his poor wife must feel cheated?

 

Brave none the less

Yes , to all that ....but I wonder why he felt the need to *come out* right now 

Recent negative press perhaps or is that cynical?

He said he needed to be honest but it's taken a while

Yes ..... I wonder if something was about to surface ....

Baz
Baz posted:
Saint posted:
Baz posted:
Saint posted:

I wonder then if his marriage was a bit of a facade? 

I know this is a complex issue of social pressures and denial but his poor wife must feel cheated?

 

Brave none the less

Yes , to all that ....but I wonder why he felt the need to *come out* right now 

Recent negative press perhaps or is that cynical?

He said he needed to be honest but it's taken a while

Yes ..... I wonder if something was about to surface ....

It would be a twist if it was Ruth Langsford that 'knew'  

Saint
Enthusiastic Contrafibularities posted:

 

No.

 

I think his wife may have been an unintentional 'Beard'.

 

I really feel sorry for her as she has invested 27 years in a relationship that will now end as she knows it.

I'm sure nothing he's done was intentionally 'nasty' or to mislead his wife.

In truth it's probably been a long, hard struggle of denial then acceptance 

Saint
Enthusiastic Contrafibularities posted:

 

No.

 

I think his wife may have been an unintentional 'Beard'.

 

I really feel sorry for her as she has invested 27 years in a relationship that will now end as she knows it.

Yep, what a kick in the guts for his wife!  I don't have much sympathy for him, he didn't come of age in a deeply homophobic society, he could have come out in the late 80s without any great moral outrage but just a bit of rightist tabloid moralising like Stephen Gately endured - something he could have batted aside if he'd been true to his own feelings and not led his wife down a sham marriage to protect his career.

Carnelian
Saint posted:

Schofield - did you see that coming?

 

Well, I was surprised at the timing. I'd assumed for a long time that he was gay, and had expected him to come out a while back - although with hindsight I probably shouldn't have given the oppressive and never-ending speculation over the sexuality of certain colleagues of his... 

 

Not that he's someone whose career I've followed particularly closely: I remember being a bit surprised to learn he was married, but then again I probably shouldn't have as he's hardly the first gay man to have a wife and children... 

Eugene's Lair
Last edited by Eugene's Lair
Saint posted:
Enthusiastic Contrafibularities posted:

 

No.

 

I think his wife may have been an unintentional 'Beard'.

 

I really feel sorry for her as she has invested 27 years in a relationship that will now end as she knows it.

I'm sure nothing he's done was intentionally 'nasty' or to mislead his wife.

In truth it's probably been a long, hard struggle of denial then acceptance 

I haven't been following the details particularly closely: has there been any indication as to how long he's considered himself to be gay, and how long his wife has known? 

 

By way of comparison, I've found myself thinking about the cyclist Graeme Obree a lot today. He's only a little younger than Schofield, and was also married with two children (although I don't think he'd been married as long as Phillip has). I saw an interview with him after he came out publicly (he'd told his family 6 years earlier), and he said that he only realized afterwards that for a very long time he'd been so far in the closet he had no inkling himself. He did also claim that his difficulty in coming to terms with his sexuality contributed earlier suicide attempts, but I'm not convinced it was as straightforward as that: he'd already been diagnosed with severe bipolar disorder, and his book The Flying Scotsman - written before he came out - implied that was the main contributory factor.

Eugene's Lair
Last edited by Eugene's Lair

I truly hope Phillip finds peace now that he is able to β€œbe himself”.

My sympathy goes to his wife who has, unwittingly, been forced to live a lie until Phil felt able to come out. IMO, if someone is conflicted about their sexuality or afraid of coming out as gay, the last thing they should do is start a relationship with someone of the opposite sex. It seems like a selfish act to me and can only lead to heartache for the other person.

Yogi19
Saint posted:

I wonder then if his marriage was a bit of a facade? 

I know this is a complex issue of social pressures and denial but his poor wife must feel cheated?

 

Brave none the less

I love you for this comment. My sisters ex husband came out after ten years of marriage and two children too.  It knocked the stuffing out of her and made her feel like her whole life was a fraud. She didn’t trust her own judgement for a long time. Still affects her ten year later. She actually was on radio 1 newsbeat yesterday giving an interview from the Partners’s perspective.

Roxan

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