Evidence: Document found on the desk of Captain Inky Black (Murrrdurrred)

I'm looking forward to this!

Tis a sad tide fer th' Blackbird 

Oh nay! The Cap'n be dead?

Rest in pieces peace Cap'n Inky Black. Th' best Cap'n in all o' th' se'en seas ....

Excuse me rudeness, I ortin' ta be havin' introduced myself!

I be Sir Lancelot Britworth-Jones an' due t' unfortunate circumstances I found I be gi'en th' choice o' bein' set adrift in a wee boat miles from land or civilisation or joinin' Captain Black`s crew an' sailin' under th' skull an' crossbones. Captain Black attacked th' ship I be travellin' on, I had nay choice but t' join th' lad's... 
I be used t' givin' orders, I do nay take them easily, a man in me position cares nothin' fer sharin' me quarters wi' scurvy riddled scum. I be third in line t' th' Duke o' Devonshire an' demand th' respect I be entitled too!

Oh, I seem to have spent far too much time on the Blackbird, I've acquired a bit of a accent 

*staggers up from the hold....eyes bleary...breath like a rat's arse....spots all the local law men all over the ship....grabs a handful of mint leaves to chew on and tries to sober up*

Another bleedin' murder, seems ev'rywhere I be goin', people be getting themselves killed 

Cap'n Black can't be dead!!! I refuse to believe it!!!

Oh mah oh mah, poor ol' Captain Inky, such a dear man really, so sad he was surrounded bah men he couldn't trust. Ah wish he had trusted his own instincts though, maybe he would still be here if he had.

*runs to cabin, sobbing*

Who ye be introducing yr'sel to ya blaggard?  Erm....kind Sir?  Ye been on th' Blackbird for 40 nights and 'owever many days be inbetween 'em.

We all knows ya real well be now. 

Oh Carry, Ah fear it's true, Ah don't want to believe it either.

*sobs some more*

watch yer tongue ye bilge rat or I`ll be rippin' 't ou' an' cuttin' off yer man boobs. I be bein' polite ye wee weasel

Hello there Sir, have we met before? I host the most fabulous dinner parties in town, maybe you have been to one?

*bows head*

Wanum  - the dearest cap'n is dead

huan huan

*sobs*

ya wan huan tang shun wana

Arrrr...... maybe it be fer th' best that we introduce oursels'. T' avoid misunderstandin' an' false accusations an' the like?

Seems like this maybe a good time fer me t'come clean. Ye probably all know anyway, an' may as well be honest wi' ye all now. What wi' th' Captain poppin' his clogs, I dares't reckon I'll be travelling th' seas wii' the lot o' ya anymore anyways.

I be a woman! 

Yers all free to flirt wi' me now.

Eh??

Me post has gone ere we go... LOL

Aye?

aye, ye`re used t' runnin' t' cabins wench, ye be hangin' off th' ladders waitin' fer th' Blackbird t' dock when she entered port. Visitin' cap`n Black`s quarter fer an hour or so each time. You set th' crews tongue`s a waggin'

*sits in the Captain's Cabin and talks to him as if he can hear*

Oh you foolish man, you knew some of them were bad news, Ah know of your plan to rid yourself of that awful Barnie Caul and the way you felt that weasel Warren was far too noseh for his own good. You should have got rid of them when you docked, shouldn't you Inky, darlin'? Ah sure wish you had, Ah shall miss mah visits to you, here in this verreh cabin, how will Ah cope without you?

*puts head in beautifully jewelled hands and sobs piteously*

wuna shuin yang iti

I canoot think in English - madarin mandarin for me

I think we might be havin' met in passin', I`ve nere had th' honour o' bein' laid at a dinner party ye be havin' laid lassie

Yer accent is a bit posh for these 'ere parts and th' seas around 'em Carry.

You know me now as Carry and you all know it was Cap'n Black and you horrid Crew that attacked the Good ship Troubadour on which I was the Quartermaster (and a canny job that was). You lot took the ship as your prize and gave the crew, including me 2 choices, join you and be a pirate or swim with the fishies.. We Cap'n Black was a better choice to the other sharks so here I am.. Now he's gone .. !!!

Oh my stars - thee Capt'n be deaded  and one of ye scurvy dogs did him in 

Ah have important business, or Ah did have, with the Captain, and Ah can assure y'all it's not what y'all are thinkin'.

yang shun yang shun

I was fond o th'capn

min yang

my fireworks - i woll let off - yang ytun -he would want it

My accent I'll have you know is one,all of king Georges Serving Quartermasters have, refinedm and gentile .. So bog off!!

You obviously recognise me from my visits to the Captain then, spyin' were you?

That leaves me out then

yang tung - I don't trust you scurfy curr Warren peace - you did follow t'capn like a scraggy shadow but yung tang hong - when a fight you go - when fight breaks out wahun - you go - pooooffffff -you disappear like the smoke from my fireworks - yangyy tang ho

mangy scurfy curr

wang yung ha

aye, I might be believin' ye lassie, thar again I might nay. When be th' next dinner party? 

I`ll brin' me big cutlass t' show ye

what be ye alluding to shark bait?

Oh mah, in all the commotion Ah appear to have forgotten mah manners. Mah mammy would be mortified. Let me introdune mahself, Ah am Sophie Silverbrass and I am one of the most populah people in Freetown, Ah host the finest soirees for mahles around and the rich and famous travel from all ovah just to be at one. Ah know some verreh influential people.

The darlin' Captain was one of mah closest associates and Ah used to look for his ship coming into the harbour because Ah knew he would want to see me. I have spent some wonderful times on this ship with him.

Ah can't believe he has gone.

*sobs*

my special fireworks for my cap'n

yang tong wanum