Its five years today since my dad died and what has been playing on my mind ever since is the fact that because he died a week before Christmas, we had to decide whether to have the funeral before or after and we ended up having it before, which was four days after he died.  When I look back now it was too soon because I never got the chance to properly decide what music to have.  with some people it might be obvious and my sister said she wanted Neil Diamond songs as my dad was a fan and her and her husband had taken him to concerts a couple of times.  Anyway, it didn't strike me until it was too late that I really would have loved to have had Smile by Nat King Cole as my dad would always sing it to me whenever I got upset about anything - I must have been six or seven at the time. 

I regret not having had the time to reflect before the funeral and really regret not having had that song.  It might sound daft but it would have meant much more than the Neil Diamond songs so I don't feel like he had the funeral I wanted him to have.  It doesn't matter really I suppose but I've just been listening to the song and it would have been a really fitting tribute to him.