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So, I wrote to Chris and said 'Look Chris, I've £70 in the bank, no staff, no ferries and never loaded a truck but I'll give it a shot. My brother Lord Bamford  gives the Tory party millions and is one of the highest Tory donors. Can you help with a contract? Blow me, £14 million Chris awarded me and here I go' 

 

recruiting soon...

Captains 

anyone who knows how to load a truck onto a ferry when we find some

board of directors

truck drivers, must be able to drive those big ones, you know the ones that are bigger than a white van...can't recall what they are called. 

or anyone that can show me how it's done 

 

looking for

second hand cranes

some nets, we may be able to fish back and forth

second hand fork lifts

hard hats

steel capped boots,,,sizes 6-13

 No union reps 

 

Company cars and logo sorted 

 

 Image may contain: outdoor

 

 

 

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Dame_Ann_Average posted:
Extremely Fluffy Fluffy Thing posted:

I have an old microwave looking for a good home - still works fine.

crosses microwave off wanted list, have you got a toaster 

Hmm.........will rummage around in the garage and see if the old one is there as well, but the kettle blew up!

Extremely Fluffy Fluffy Thing
Extremely Fluffy Fluffy Thing posted:

Hmm.........will rummage around in the garage and see if the old one is there as well, but the kettle blew up!

 

we need a kettle  Just had Chris on the phone, we need train staff  He never said we would actually need to be organised when he handed over the 14 million quid 

Dame_Ann_Average

Alright, we can do this. We can hire a few scouts to show us how to tie knots. I've done a check round the garage and I can supply a couple of deck chairs and a few lengths of string. It's all coming together. 

FM

We may have to do some ducking and diving troops. Bloody MP's have found out we copied and pasted a takeaway terms and conditions 

We're being ridiculed all over twitter, now Huff Posts got hold of it too. Least The BBC and Sky won't report it, thank goodness  

 

I'll sack the person who didn't check the wording  That would be me

seabourne

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Dame_Ann_Average

Roxan, deck chairs sounds good, I'm sure someone will have an inflatable paddling pool kicking around and a puncture kit 

 

I have had some inquiries into to Captain vacancies, so far

 Captain Horatio Pugwash 

Gerry and the Pacemakers (small firm) apparently they have some experience of running Ferries across the Mersey

Jack Sparrow

and some old Captain called Bobby Moore 

Dame_Ann_Average
Last edited by Dame_Ann_Average
Extremely Fluffy Fluffy Thing posted:

I have some inflatable floating loungers -sure to come in handy once we get the pool.

we can use them for emergency life rafts Fluffy,

 

I've just found out from Chris that Ramsgate can't berth large ships... I'm looking at some of those ww2 marine tank transporters to see if we can fit a truck on some of them. We should be able to pick some up cheap 

Dame_Ann_Average
Dame_Ann_Average posted:
Extremely Fluffy Fluffy Thing posted:

Hmm.........will rummage around in the garage and see if the old one is there as well, but the kettle blew up!

 

we need a kettle  Just had Chris on the phone, we need train staff  He never said we would actually need to be organised when he handed over the 14 million quid 

My brother's a retired Metro driver. I'm sure he'll come out of retirement for us   

Sprout
Dame_Ann_Average posted:

Roxan, deck chairs sounds good, I'm sure someone will have an inflatable paddling pool kicking around and a puncture kit 

 

I have had some inquiries into to Captain vacancies, so far

 Captain Horatio Pugwash 

Gerry and the Pacemakers (small firm) apparently they have some experience of running Ferries across the Mersey

Jack Sparrow

and some old Captain called Bobby Moore 

I'll get next door to donate their pool, and if they have a pool they're sure to have a puncture kit 

Sprout
Dame_Ann_Average posted:
Kaytee posted:

I've been on a lot of cruises, so am applying for the job of Petty Officer,Im sure I can be petty if I try hard 

you're hired...grab a seat on the board too 

Ta muchly 😂👍

Kaytee

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