I need your advice on something that is really getting to me.
I started a new part time job last Wednesday, but after the first couple of hours of being there, I felt I did not like it at all. It is in an open plan office, which made me feel really vulnerable, exposed and self-conscious and if I had no privacy. On top of this, I did not feel that I fitted in at all with the other staff and felt like the odd one out. I hated it so much that I phoned in sick on my second day, as the thought of going back there made me feel extremely anxious and faint. I don’t why I had such an extreme adverse reaction to the place, as the people there were civilised and reasonably friendly.
I think that maybe a large part of the reason why I am feeling like this is because I am going through a bit of depression at the moment, and finding it difficult to function in general, even the littlest things like getting out of bed and showering for me are a hard and feel like a concerted effort.
I am next due in on Monday and am dreading it already. I am contemplating pulling out of the job and making up an excuse, but I can’t think of a plausible one. I feel a bit guilty that I am even contemplating doing this, as I have had congratulations and well wishes from family and friends about the job since I got it and I know that they would be disappointed in me for jacking it in so soon. It has crossed my mind to make up an excuse to leave the job, but just pretend to my family and friends that I am still working there, until I find something else.
I am unsure what to do and would appreciate some advice!
Thanks in advance