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The other night I was invited out with the “girls.” I told my husband I would be home by midnight, “I promise!” Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I entered the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realising my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with the other half. (Even when totally smashed… 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT !) What a save.
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him “MIDNIGHT”… he didn’t seem pissed off in the least. Whew, I got away with that one! Then he said, “We need a new cuckoo clock.” When I asked him why, he said, “Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said “oh shit” Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.
slimfern
@slimfern posted:
The other night I was invited out with the “girls.” I told my husband I would be home by midnight, “I promise!” Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I entered the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realising my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with the other half. (Even when totally smashed… 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT !) What a save.
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him “MIDNIGHT”… he didn’t seem pissed off in the least. Whew, I got away with that one! Then he said, “We need a new cuckoo clock.” When I asked him why, he said, “Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said “oh shit” Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.

🤣🤣🤣👏🏻👏🏻

Baz
"Recycle overripe bananas by hanging them up in your garden. 👇
1. Attracts Beneficial Insects: The sweet aroma of overripe bananas attracts butterflies, bees, and ladybugs.
2. Nutrient-Rich Compost: After attracting insects, the banana can be added to your compost pile for nutrient-rich soil.
3. Natural Fertilizer: As the banana decomposes, it releases nutrients directly into the soil, acting as a natural fertilizer.
4. Repels Certain Pests: The strong scent of overripe bananas can repel pests like aphids and gnats.
5. Supports Earthworm Activity: Overripe bananas can attract earthworms to your garden beds, improving soil health."
450482879_122158378352188972_1198043419766805485_n

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slimfern
@slimfern posted:
"Recycle overripe bananas by hanging them up in your garden. 👇
1. Attracts Beneficial Insects: The sweet aroma of overripe bananas attracts butterflies, bees, and ladybugs.
2. Nutrient-Rich Compost: After attracting insects, the banana can be added to your compost pile for nutrient-rich soil.
3. Natural Fertilizer: As the banana decomposes, it releases nutrients directly into the soil, acting as a natural fertilizer.
4. Repels Certain Pests: The strong scent of overripe bananas can repel pests like aphids and gnats.
5. Supports Earthworm Activity: Overripe bananas can attract earthworms to your garden beds, improving soil health."
450482879_122158378352188972_1198043419766805485_n

Oooooo that’s a really good tip Slim .👏🏻👏🏻I eat a banana every day , and am always throwing away them if they get overripe ….now I will be definitely hanging them up .👍🏻

Baz
When a group of tourists visited a crocodile farm, the owner of the place launched a daring proposal;
-Whoever dares to jump, swim to shore and survive, I will give 1 million dollars.
Nobody dared to move. Suddenly, a man jumped into the water and desperately swam towards the shore while being chased by all the crocodiles.
With great luck he arrived, taking the admiration of everyone in the place, then the owner announced;
-We have a brave winner.
After collecting their reward, the couple returned to the hotel, upon arrival, the manager told him; he was very brave to jump, then the man said;
-I didn't jump, someone pushed me!
His wife smiled ...
Moral: "Behind every successful man, there is a woman who pushes him."
450312991_122180690630064685_4013879272701248908_n


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slimfern
@slimfern posted:
When a group of tourists visited a crocodile farm, the owner of the place launched a daring proposal;
-Whoever dares to jump, swim to shore and survive, I will give 1 million dollars.
Nobody dared to move. Suddenly, a man jumped into the water and desperately swam towards the shore while being chased by all the crocodiles.
With great luck he arrived, taking the admiration of everyone in the place, then the owner announced;
-We have a brave winner.
After collecting their reward, the couple returned to the hotel, upon arrival, the manager told him; he was very brave to jump, then the man said;
-I didn't jump, someone pushed me!
His wife smiled ...
Moral: "Behind every successful man, there is a woman who pushes him."
450312991_122180690630064685_4013879272701248908_n


ROFL

Baz

Bought t shirt from Amazon (free delivery - free return) - it's too big. Asked for refund . . . which i got and was told to keep the t-shirt too, "You do not need to return this item" 

Saint
@Saint posted:

Bought t shirt from Amazon (free delivery - free return) - it's too big. Asked for refund . . . which i got and was told to keep the t-shirt too, "You do not need to return this item" 

Stick it in your bottom drawer....Ideal for re-gifting at Christmas to someone

slimfern
@Saint posted:

Bought t shirt from Amazon (free delivery - free return) - it's too big. Asked for refund . . . which i got and was told to keep the t-shirt too, "You do not need to return this item" 

Way to go Renton

Baz

Won £4.30 on lottery - machine was "out of order" but said she'd put ticket through to see if machine was working again. It wasn't. A few days later I tried elsewhere but was told the ticket winnings had been payed out!! Contacted Lotto who said it was sorted and my winning were at the original shop where machine glitched.

And today i got a cheque for £4.30 from the Lottery ... the replied to my e mail saying - "Just cash the cheque - it's "will be deducted from Morrisons account anyway"   

Saint
@Saint posted:

Won £4.30 on lottery - machine was "out of order" but said she'd put ticket through to see if machine was working again. It wasn't. A few days later I tried elsewhere but was told the ticket winnings had been payed out!! Contacted Lotto who said it was sorted and my winning were at the original shop where machine glitched.

And today i got a cheque for £4.30 from the Lottery ... the replied to my e mail saying - "Just cash the cheque - it's "will be deducted from Morrisons account anyway"   

A cheque! ...hardly seems worth the petrol money to go to the bank for £4.30
Congrats on the win though nonetheless

slimfern
@Saint posted:

Won £4.30 on lottery - machine was "out of order" but said she'd put ticket through to see if machine was working again. It wasn't. A few days later I tried elsewhere but was told the ticket winnings had been payed out!! Contacted Lotto who said it was sorted and my winning were at the original shop where machine glitched.

And today i got a cheque for £4.30 from the Lottery ... the replied to my e mail saying - "Just cash the cheque - it's "will be deducted from Morrisons account anyway"   

Nice one Renton 👏🏻👏🏻🥰🥰🥰

Baz