have you got a list?
have you checked it twice?
have you got your sprouts?
have you got your presents wrapped?
have you got your presents bought?
are you looking forward to family members you detest turning up & entertaining them?
do you wish only fools & horses was still the main christmas show so everyone will STFU & you can have an hours peace?
christmas tip 1- gravy..always par boil parsnips the night before & save the water for the gravy & put the parsnips in a different pan with warm water, salt & a lid to boil or roast the next day
christmas tip 2-dont play monopoly..unless you like picking up monopoly pieces after someone has lost the game (same for trivial pursuit..actually any board game)
christmas tip 3 - tell your guests they have to smoke outside-but they all have to at the same time as you dont like opening/shutting the door..as they all troop out
lock the door
& yell merry christmas..we're going to bed..through the letterbox
any strays left?
simply tell them youre off upstairs to take your tablets..as if you dont take them, youre known to walk into various rooms in the house & wee on whoever is in there
merry Christmas though 
